These Hilarious Tweets Will Catch You Up On The Bachelorette


kristocuri/Twitter and Maarten de Boer/Kwaku Alston/ABC

Let Twitter school you on season 16 of The Bachelorette.

The weird nightmare that is 2020 is over. Hahahahaha just kidding, we still have a month and a half of anything-can-happen anarchy. With the pandemic ramping up and the election winding down, it’s time to find our next favorite distraction. Enter The Bachelorette. Now in it’s 16th season the show takes place at the luxe La Quinta Resort in California. The marketing department at budget hotel chain La Quinta are probably trying to figure out how to bottle up The Bachelorette showbiz sparkle and prop it up next to their continental breakfasts.

Now that we have accommodation concerns out of the way, let’s get caught up, shall we?

The season started with a bang when season 18 The Bachelor runner up Clare Crawley immediately saw a future with Dale — literally immediately. As in, he stepped out of the limo and Clare declared that she “just met her husband.”

Surprising no one, Clare…gave Dale the first night rose.

The chemistry between Dale and Clare shone through from the very beginning.

Three episodes in, and it’s so obvious Clare wants to bail on the other men and focus on Dale.

 

The producers try to add some suspense to the show where the lead is over it by forcing weird encounters.

Our girl Clare is not much of a liar, bless her heart.

The other guys try to roast Dale and make him… insecure? Crumble? Not sure where their heads were, TBH.

Even when she’s not with Dale, Clare’s still can’t stop thinking about him.

And she doesn’t like how the other guys roasted her man. The male contestants take it well. Kidding! This is reality TV, after all, and these men pout like a toddler who’s forced to leave a toy store empty handed.

By episode 4, even the invisible wait staff at the La Quinta Resort No Not That One The Other One The Fancy One have to know how this is going to end. Not that ABC welcomes some drama. Reports that Dale and Clare met before filming bubble up on social media, throwing the ‘we just met and now we’re in love’ narrative off. Rumors and contracts be damned, these two crazy kids decide to get engaged.

Clare and Dale ride off into the sunset, newly engaged and happier than ever.

Craig Sjodin/ABC

The couple might want to make sure they didn’t leave any stray hairbrushes around, because the producers probably have Chris/Dale hybrid a stickpin-covered voodoo doll in the editing bay. The millisecond the proposal airs, Dale makes their love Twitter official by posting syrupy sweet pics on his account.

Back to the show – is the season over? Not by a long shot. Another bachelorette is waiting in the wings. Viewers get a hint about Tayshia Adams, a familiar face from season 23 of The Bachelor and season six of Bachelor in Paradise.

And we get a few new men added to the mix!

The men seem into Tayshia.

New guy Spencer gets the first Tayshia rose. Twitter likes his looks but doesn’t trust his vibe.

We get an update about Clare. She’s fine, thanks for asking. The pair, now living together, deny claims they met before taping the show. Clare also wants babies, babies, babies, which is fine, fine, fine. Dale seems to be the last to know, though.

 

The men have moved on to fighting over Clare to fighting over Tayshia. Riley ‘accidentally’ elbows Spencer, splitting his lip.

There. You’re all caught up with the drama. Will Spencer make it to the finale? Do you think La Quinta Not That One The Other One The Fancy One has a cease and desist letter in its back pocket in case the budget chain gets too familiar? We’ll have to tune in to find out.

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