Stanley Tucci Fans Not Here For Prince William Named ‘Sexiest Bald Man’

Samir Hussein/WireImage, Jeff Spicer/Getty Images, Bolu Babalola/Twitter

We respectfully however strongly demand a public recount with out interference from Kensington Palace

There are occasions in life when one should take a stand. Sometimes it’s important to twin along with your canine. Sometimes it’s important to put the Elf on a Shelf in quarantine. And typically — as in proper now, in 2021 — we have now to problem the decidedly fallacious assertion that Prince William (sure, that Prince William) is the “world’s sexiest bald man.”

As a part of the brand new Google examine, researchers cross-searched what number of occasions Prince William had been described as “sexy” in blogs and articles. The consequence, in line with the examine, was that Prince William had been known as horny 17.6 million occasions. In comparability, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is described as horny solely 2.6 million occasions.


We would additionally like a forensic accounting of all of the computer systems within the royal family. Immediately.

Because, clearly, The Independent forgot that the next males exist in the identical universe because the Duke of Cambridge (in any other case there can be a huuuuuge disclaimer on the backside of the examine):

The Rock
Vin Diesel
Taye Diggs
Jason Statham
J.Ok. Simmons
Ben Kingsley
Patrick Stewart

And Stanley Tucci.

Not in the present day, say Tucci’s followers.

Not on Blue Ivy’s web. In no circumstance is Prince William sexier than Stanley freaking Tucci.

“Stanley Tucci I will avenge you,” one fan wrote.

“C’mon, people. I’m a straight guy, and even I was like, NOT WHILE STANLEY TUCCI IS ALIVE,” one other fan posted.

Tucci has been wowing viewers for years, most lately for his present on CNN, Stanley Tucci: Searching For Italy.

“Italy is beautiful. The food of Italy is beautiful. Not insignificantly, Stanley Tucci is beautiful, too…He gazes at wheels of cheese and swirls of pasta as if the food must be seduced before it will consent to be devoured. @hels gets it,” wrote a fan, quoting a overview of Tucci’s new present.

Some folks suppose Prince William’s disaster PR workforce isn’t doing the inheritor to the throne any favors.

“I don’t wanna be overly critical or anything, but the PR folks hired by Buckingham Palace to do cleanup appear to have no idea what the fuck they’re doing,” an eagle-eyed Twitterer wrote.

“The PR the Palace thought they were getting, vs the PR they actually got with that ‘Prince William is the Sexiest Bald Man’ push. Lord….,” one Twitter person posted.

All the tweets in protection of Tucci are pure perfection.

“Look, I’m not going to retweet the stupid Prince William/sexy/bald men survey but I’d like to introduce the voters to Stanley Tucci, Mike Coulter, the entire cast of Fast & Furious, Patrick Stewart and Mark freakin’ Strong. No weak chinned royal is cracking the top 100,” wrote one other.

“This shark is also a sexier bald person than Prince William,” one particular person shot again in response to the information.

One Twitter person discovered information that Prince William is the world’s sexiest bald man laughable.

After posting a video evaluating the physicality of the 2 princes, one Twitter person was satisfied Prince William desperately wished to return throughout as the higher of the 2.

“Whoever the Hell cooked the numbers for that Sexiest Bald Man poll — and got Prince William — needs to be tarred and feathered. PW is about as sexy as a wet mushroom. THESE four are SEXY. There are more. I ran out of space,” one other put up reads. “Yeah, might be considered sexist. FIGHT me.”

“My mother in law just said ‘Stanley Tucci’s shirts are always the perfect length’ and that’s the most mother in law thing you’ll hear this year,” a Twitter person wrote of her mother-in-law.

In a world the place folks disagree on every part, it’s good to know that we are able to agree on one factor: the near-perfection of Stanley Tucci.

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