We respectfully however strongly demand a public recount with out interference from Kensington Palace
There are occasions in life when one should take a stand. Sometimes it’s important to twin along with your canine. Sometimes it’s important to put the Elf on a Shelf in quarantine. And typically — as in proper now, in 2021 — we have now to problem the decidedly fallacious assertion that Prince William (sure, that Prince William) is the “world’s sexiest bald man.”
As a part of the brand new Google examine, researchers cross-searched what number of occasions Prince William had been described as “sexy” in blogs and articles. The consequence, in line with the examine, was that Prince William had been known as horny 17.6 million occasions. In comparability, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is described as horny solely 2.6 million occasions.
We would additionally like a forensic accounting of all of the computer systems within the royal family. Immediately.
Because, clearly, The Independent forgot that the next males exist in the identical universe because the Duke of Cambridge (in any other case there can be a huuuuuge disclaimer on the backside of the examine):
And Stanley Tucci.
Not in the present day, say Tucci’s followers.
Not on Blue Ivy’s web. In no circumstance is Prince William sexier than Stanley freaking Tucci.
“Stanley Tucci I will avenge you,” one fan wrote.
Stanley Tucci I’ll avenge you https://t.co/GyGyyIbfdf
— Bolu Babalola (@BeeBabs) March 27, 2021
“C’mon, people. I’m a straight guy, and even I was like, NOT WHILE STANLEY TUCCI IS ALIVE,” one other fan posted.
C’mon, folks. I’m a straight man, and even I used to be like, NOT WHILE STANLEY TUCCI IS ALIVE. https://t.co/A5AZo7moUz
— Chris Holm (@chrisfholm) March 27, 2021
Tucci has been wowing viewers for years, most lately for his present on CNN, Stanley Tucci: Searching For Italy.
“Italy is beautiful. The food of Italy is beautiful. Not insignificantly, Stanley Tucci is beautiful, too…He gazes at wheels of cheese and swirls of pasta as if the food must be seduced before it will consent to be devoured. @hels gets it,” wrote a fan, quoting a overview of Tucci’s new present.
“Italy is beautiful. The food of Italy is beautiful. Not insignificantly, Stanley Tucci is beautiful, too…He gazes at wheels of cheese and swirls of pasta as if the food must be seduced before it will consent to be devoured.” @hels will get it: https://t.co/VxFxB8qfrL
— Dina Fierro (@dinafierro_) March 27, 2021
Some folks suppose Prince William’s disaster PR workforce isn’t doing the inheritor to the throne any favors.
“I don’t wanna be overly critical or anything, but the PR folks hired by Buckingham Palace to do cleanup appear to have no idea what the fuck they’re doing,” an eagle-eyed Twitterer wrote.
I do not wanna be overly crucial or something, however the PR of us employed by Buckingham Palace to do cleanup seem to do not know what the fuck they’re doing.
— Charlotte Clymer 🏳️🌈 (@cmclymer) March 27, 2021
“The PR the Palace thought they were getting, vs the PR they actually got with that ‘Prince William is the Sexiest Bald Man’ push. Lord….,” one Twitter person posted.
The PR the Palace thought they have been getting, vs the PR they really bought with that “Prince William is the Sexiest Bald Man” push.
— Anne Boleyn (Sussex Supporter) (@TudorChick1501) March 27, 2021
All the tweets in protection of Tucci are pure perfection.
“Look, I’m not going to retweet the stupid Prince William/sexy/bald men survey but I’d like to introduce the voters to Stanley Tucci, Mike Coulter, the entire cast of Fast & Furious, Patrick Stewart and Mark freakin’ Strong. No weak chinned royal is cracking the top 100,” wrote one other.
Look, I’m not going to retweet the silly Prince William/horny/bald males survey however I’d prefer to introduce the voters to Stanley Tucci, Mike Coulter, the whole solid of Fast & Furious, Patrick Stewart and Mark freakin’ Strong. No weak chinned royal is cracking the highest 100.
— Helen O’Hara (@HelenLOHara) March 27, 2021
“This shark is also a sexier bald person than Prince William,” one particular person shot again in response to the information.
This shark can be a sexier bald particular person than Prince William https://t.co/aD6bK5r4JY
— Cato (@catoAKAcato) March 27, 2021
One Twitter person discovered information that Prince William is the world’s sexiest bald man laughable.
“Prince William names as ‘world’s sexiest bald man’😏 pic.twitter.com/Cwl9JE1wmZ
— Krys (@byetwit) March 27, 2021
After posting a video evaluating the physicality of the 2 princes, one Twitter person was satisfied Prince William desperately wished to return throughout as the higher of the 2.
This is why Prince William rigged that ballot. You can’t inform me any in a different way. pic.twitter.com/TWiswhabm1
— BLACKLIVESMATTER (@Jasamgurlie) March 27, 2021
“Whoever the Hell cooked the numbers for that Sexiest Bald Man poll — and got Prince William — needs to be tarred and feathered. PW is about as sexy as a wet mushroom. THESE four are SEXY. There are more. I ran out of space,” one other put up reads. “Yeah, might be considered sexist. FIGHT me.”
Whoever the Hell cooked the numbers for that Sexiest Bald Man ballot – and bought Prince William – must be tarred and feathered. PW is about as horny as a moist mushroom. THESE 4 are SEXY. There are extra. I ran out of area. 😎😋 Yeah, is likely to be thought-about sexist. FIGHT me. pic.twitter.com/vyQG1dalkT
— TrishHennessey (@Trish_Hennessey) March 27, 2021
“My mother in law just said ‘Stanley Tucci’s shirts are always the perfect length’ and that’s the most mother in law thing you’ll hear this year,” a Twitter person wrote of her mother-in-law.
My mom in legislation simply mentioned “Stanley Tucci’s shirts are always the perfect length” and that’s essentially the most mom in legislation factor you’ll hear this 12 months.
— Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) March 24, 2021
In a world the place folks disagree on every part, it’s good to know that we are able to agree on one factor: the near-perfection of Stanley Tucci.