My Wife And I Use Ecstasy (MDMA) To Strengthen Our Marriage


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Note: I’m making an attempt right here to share my very own, and my spouse’s, experiences, which ought to not be taken as scientific reality. I don’t advocate or suggest experimenting with MDMA or any unlawful substance.

Shelley and I had good sexual chemistry after we met 20 years in the past. Little did we all know that we have been about to share one other form of chemistry as properly.

I’m a licensed psychotherapist, but additionally an ex-hippie and still-active psychonaut (consumer of psychedelic medication like LSD and MDMA). When I met Shelley, a vital care nurse working post-op at an area hospital, she was contemporary out of an 18-year marriage and able to unfold her wings and take a look at new issues.

But when she confided that she needed to strive ecstasy (which is what MDMA was known as within the early 2000s) I used to be floored. Shelley – who’d by no means a lot as completed a joint in her life? I used to be glad she trusted me to information her, however I didn’t understand how she’d reply to this highly effective psychoactive drug.

Any considerations I had evaporated inside the first minutes of her journey, as a result of Shelley gave the impression to be having an awakening earlier than my eyes. I felt like I used to be watching time-lapse pictures of a blossoming flower. Shelley stated she felt “amazing.”

From that point on, there was no stopping her. I knew it was as much as me to maintain these experiences contemporary and to maintain us from burning out. That meant limiting our rolls (MDMA journeys) to a most of 5 or 6 a yr. As of now, Shelley and I’ve had about 70 of those experiences, and never certainly one of them has been dangerous.

Think booze with out the hangover (some report a post-roll down; we’ve discovered methods to keep away from it), pot with out the paranoia, or magic mushrooms with out the hallucinations. We might be out and about and other people simply suppose we’re two seniors having a pleasant day. (Shelley and I are actually 69 and 71, respectively.)

What makes MDMA a novel and uncanny chemical is its versatility. For one factor, double blind medical research are at present demonstrating that it could possibly carry profound and lasting reduction to victims of post-traumatic stress dysfunction (PTSD), equivalent to victims of sexual violence and traumatized troopers again from Iraq. If all continues to go properly with these trials, MDMA is poised to change into a prescription treatment by 2023.

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This drug can even, nevertheless, assist a pair attempting to reclaim the misplaced coronary heart of their relationship.

And this identical substance, on the identical dosage, can be utilized at an all-night rave to bounce ecstatically with ten thousand others in ecstatic, wild abandon.

So with this big selection of purposes, lately folks like Shelley and me are discovering how MDMA can serve, as one researcher places it, “the betterment of well people.”

We’ve discovered that having a mature and reality based mostly method to utilizing MDMA to be  enormously helpful for us and numerous others we’ve recognized. In reality, the accountable leisure use of MDMA is the happiest manner I do know to a fuller life. I name it the pursuit of great enjoyable.

But MDMA (or, Methylenedioxymethamphetamine) shouldn’t be for everybody. If one is pregnant, suffers from epilepsy, bi-polar dysfunction or coronary heart illness, for instance, one must steer clear of MDMA. (That’s why I included a “Guide to The Responsible Recreational Use of MDMA” in my ebook, “Listening to Ecstasy.”) One ought to solely use pure MDMA, keep properly hydrated all through the expertise (if dancing or partaking in different strenuous exercise, a most of two cups an hour; in any other case, much less), and never combine it with alcohol or different medication (besides maybe hashish. More on this later.)

Speaking strictly for ourselves, Shelley and I’ve discovered MDMA to be the chemical of connection. It’s added a further layer of depth, intimacy and profound sharing into our lives.

It’s served as a form of relationship tremendous glue that has bonded us collectively extra deeply and fully. We have been nice with out MDMA; with it, we’re way more than nice: It’s woven a complete further theme of pleasure, celebration and aliveness into the material of our marriage.

Perfect instance: Once, on trip, we splurged on our lodging, and located ourselves spending a day spooning in our room’s jacuzzi, feeling like two children collectively within the loving arms of God Herself. Again, this may have been simply nice with out MDMA. But with it? Astonishing!

And then there’s intercourse. MDMA is thought to be extra of a sensual than a sexual expertise. But that relies upon. We’ve discovered about what I’d name “Sexstasy,” or the worth of rolling stoned. Actually, many males (like me, for instance) discover it arduous to remain, properly, arduous, on MDMA. Or to come back. But we’ve discovered that including some hashish in the direction of the tip of the expertise because the MDMA is ebbing can work wonders. For us it’s like an orgy for 2, a tingling carnival for the senses.

Another payoff for us is we’ve discovered ourselves with extra “relationship capital” – accruing these good occasions below our belt to assist us by way of the arduous occasions (like COVID). Plus we appear to have an elevated capability for generosity in the direction of one another, expressing extra gratitude and appreciation and acknowledging one another extra, even for the small issues like taking out the rubbish. We empathize with one another extra now as properly, and have a deeper compassion for one another’s aches, pains and burdens. All this leads to a sense of full emotional security in our residence, making it a real haven throughout these difficult occasions..

We’ve additionally discovered MDMA to be a novel method to rejoice or sacralize particular events, like anniversaries or rolling within the New Year at a Phish live performance at Madison Square Garden. That’s why, quite than “recreational” drug use, I prefer to name it “celebrational.” On Valentine’s Day, for instance, we typically use it to rejoice our love. For us, MDMA has been Cupid’s chemically-dipped arrow.

If you’d advised me that my spouse and I might be long run customers of a robust drug, particularly at this stage of life, I might have laughed at you. But as adults who’re mature sufficient to make clever selections, nevertheless uncommon, we’ve discovered methods to make MDMA pay life-enhancing dividends throughout the years.

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