John Oliver Finally Gets Verbally Manhandled By Crush Adam Driver


Oliver’s crush on Adam Driver is of epic proportion

If you watch Last Week Tonight With John Oliver on HBO, his slight obsession with Adam Driver. And by slight, I imply essentially the most celebrated, uninhibited man crush of all time that will get talked about in practically each single episode. Well, Oliver had his goals come true throughout the remaining present of the 12 months when Driver known as in to present him a stern speaking to — simply the best way Oliver all the time imagined it.

In recapping 2020 for the ultimate episode, Oliver famous how he spent the final 12 months fawning over the Marriage Story actor. So, when Driver FaceTimed him to ask, “What the fuck are you doing?” Oliver was fast to apologize — type of.

“This thing you’ve been doing that’s either sexual or violent… This strange, strange bit that for some reason you’ve pulled me into. What is it?” Driver requested Oliver. “When you first started doing it, it was easy for me to shrug it off,” to which Oliver replied, “Especially with those shoulders, I bet.” But Driver persevered.

“Do you realize, over this past year, what you’ve asked me to do to you? ‘Collapse on your chest.’ ‘Tie your fingers in a square knot.’ ‘Step on your throat.’ ‘Shatter your knees.’ ‘Pull your heart out through your ear.’ What’s wrong with you?” Driver continued. “You realize we’re strangers, right? I don’t know you. And now random people on the internet stan us, claiming that you thirsting over me is ‘a mood.’”

This is the most effective dialog to ever occur in late evening historical past.

But wait. There’s extra.

Oliver semi-apologized for lusting after Driver like most of America however ended up calling himself, “America’s naughtiest bitch.” Finally although, he conceded, “Consider this bit over. It’s done.” Driver then tried consoling Oliver by asking him to rise up and discover round a bit. “Adam, are you giving me an order?” Oliver quipped, and the remainder took a moderately sharp flip left.

“Explore the fucking space, you hollow-boned Mr. Bean cosplayer,” Driver demanded. “Look around you, you under-baked gingerbread boy.”

“Oh God, that feels good,” Oliver mentioned.

It appears that Oliver is understandably obsessive about Driver’ dimension and stature in comparison with his personal. With sentences like “Choke slam me to hell, you nasty shed. Jam your mandible claw down my throat, you irredeemable steer,” it grew to become clear to followers that Oliver needed to be thrown round like some type of WWE flunky.

“A lot of you might well be wondering where I’m going with this bit,” Oliver mentioned on one other episode. “If you’re anything like my staff, you’re asking questions like, ‘Is this sexual or is it violent?’ And then you’re unsatisfied when the answer comes back, ‘Yes.’ If you’re like my wife, you might be asking, ‘Should I be worried about this?’ with your concern only growing when the answer is, ‘Only if you want to be.’”

What an ideal finish to 2020 — for Oliver and the remainder of us.

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