Getting Free Donuts For Being Vaccinated Is Not A Health Concern

Krispy Kreme

In case you missed it, in an effort to encourage vaccination (and get a shit ton of publicity) Krispy Kreme introduced you can present up at their shops with a legitimate COVID vaccination card and depart with a free unique glazed donut. This supply is legitimate “anytime, any day, every day for the rest of the year,” in accordance with Dave Skena, Krispy Kreme’s chief advertising officer. And the generosity doesn’t finish there. Anyone, no matter vaccination standing, can get a free donut on Mondays from now by way of May.

Free donuts! Who may discover an issue with that?

Well, the fucking web by no means misses a chance to be an infuriating assortment of essentially the most eye-roll-inducing ideas humanity had that day. OF FUCKING COURSE, folks began tweeting like mad about…weight problems.

Mother fucker. This shit once more?

Twitter is all like, “How can you offer free donuts when obesity makes COVID wooooooorse??”


Oh. My. God. Calm the fuck down.

Joe Raedle/Getty

First of all, has no person heard of Krispy Kreme’s gazillion earlier promotions without cost donuts? They do this sort of factor all of the freaking time. If you’re a type of thrifty, organized varieties, you might in all probability scratch that Krispy Kreme itch each time it hits you all 12 months with out ever paying a penny as a result of they throw round unique glazed donuts like confetti. Your birthday? Free donut! Halloween? Free donut should you’re in costume! Wear inexperienced on St. Paddy’s day for…you guessed it…a FREE DONUT!

I’m fairly positive they even give out free donuts to highschool youngsters who get A’s on their report playing cards. And not provided that that A is in PE.

Those free donut promotions don’t trigger mass pandemonium and neither will this one.

Could a vaccinated particular person conceivably go to their native Krispy Kreme each single day for the remainder of the 12 months and get a free donut? Sure. They may.

Hell, I suppose a very devoted particular person may hop round to a number of shops and get multiple free donut a day. Or even go to the shop on completely different shifts and get two a day. PER LOCATION.

But everyone knows that actually virtually no person goes to do this or something remotely prefer it. Like, everybody, even the physician who tweeted that consuming a donut a day may trigger a fifteen-pound weight acquire in a 12 months, is aware of that no person goes to do this. Not even fats folks.

I’m an authorized fatty, and I’ve pushed previous a Krispy Kreme like eight instances since I heard about free donuts, and I’ve by no means stopped to get one. Not as soon as. I’d earlier than the tip of the 12 months if the temper hits me, however like, it’s not that critical. Don’t act loopy.

Nobody goes to get their vaccine simply to benefit from a free donut promotion, then fall into the confectionary abyss, all of a sudden unable to withstand the seductive glow of that KK sizzling mild, doomed to die a glazed-donut induced demise, clutching their vaccine card to their sugar-dusted chest.

This fake outrage is just a few fats shamey nonsense.

A Krispy Kreme unique glazed donut has solely thirty extra energy and two extra grams of sugar than a packet of Quaker maple and brown sugar immediate oatmeal.


A tall white chocolate mocha latte from Starbucks has 100 and fifty extra energy, 4 extra grams of fats and THIRTY extra grams of sugar than a Krispy Kreme donut.

The donut in query right here has 4 grams much less fats than half an avocado.

This donut factor is actually no massive deal. It’s simply one other method that individuals can say that they suppose fats individuals are icky with out really saying they suppose fats individuals are icky.

It’s all the time only a shitload of strangers insisting that they’re involved about fats folks’s well being, isn’t it? Never thoughts the truth that their bullying, shaming, fatphobic bullshit typically pushes us into psychological well being crises and disordered consuming patterns that destroy our our bodies in methods increased weight by no means did. THAT is an inconvenient element, so it’s all the time not noted of the narrative.

The fact is, even when this free donut was the fattiest, sugariest, most calorie-laden meals in existence, attempting to police a DONUT COMPANY for freely giving FREE DONUTS is actually asinine. It’s what they promote! They can’t give away free broccoli. They don’t have any.

Representatives from Krispy Kreme aren’t going door-to-door and delivering donuts to fats folks each morning. They didn’t say a phrase about fats folks. Thin and barely plump of us are additionally welcome to a free donut.

This is a promotion. It’s additionally a press release that Krispy Kreme as a complete helps the vaccination effort. They aren’t the one firm to do that. I don’t see anybody flipping the hell out in regards to the free Uber rides, meals, lamination and weed that corporations are providing to vaccinated folks.

Why can’t we simply let folks have issues? Eating a donut from time to time will not be a sin or against the law, no matter physique measurement. Even consuming a donut as soon as a day, particularly rather than one thing they’d normally eat, isn’t essentially a problem for lots of people, barring just a few particular medical circumstances. Your normal breakfast may even have comparable stats to the donut that individuals are freaking the fuck out about.

Sweet meals style scrumptious, and scrumptious meals deliver people pleasure. It’s okay to pacify your recently-jabbed physique by having fun with a free donut.

Just be sure you go when the recent mild is on. Yum.

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