The Big Picture
- Yen Tan’s direction captures the beauty of grief through delicate, intimate moments, evoking powerful emotions.
- The comedic cast impresses with dramatic performances, especially Cho’s portrayal of Emma.
- The film’s predictability and familiar plotlines are balanced by the way it is all executed.
When writing a film about everyday life, circumstances, and emotions, it is essential that the audience feel they are seeing these familiarities in a way that’s not been done before. Because the viewer may have been through many of the situations depicted in a more commonplace story, every component becomes dissected. Director Yen Tan’s All That We Love is a lesson in how to make the ordinary feel extraordinary, with each detail of the film coming together to make everyday situations feel imperative. The delicacy with which Tan treats each of his main characters, played beautifully by Margaret Cho, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Kenneth Choi, and Alice Lee, highlights the ways in which each one of us, no matter how time-honored and universal our problems might be, are still captivating in our own ways.
Very few lines were spoken in the film by the time I had tears in my eyes, as we’re immediately shown Cho’s character of Emma holding her beloved dog, Tanner, in his final moments. This scene could’ve easily been skipped and merely revealed through dialogue, but Tan’s use of lingering camera shots to summarize the life Emma had with her ailing pet generates just as emotional an experience as if we’ve known Tanner for much longer. Yan utilizes soft lighting throughout Emma’s home, highlighting spots that may not seem important, but that create a peaceful atmosphere before we’re thrown into the messiness that lies beneath it.
What Is ‘All That We Love’ About?
All That We Love follows Emma, a woman who is grieving the death of her beloved dog, Tanner; an event that kicks up old feelings over her long-since-ended marriage, her changing company, and her daughter, Grace (Lee), who is planning on moving across the world with her boyfriend. Emma leans on her best friend, Stan (Ferguson), who lost his husband, Craig, to illness, and whose grieving style, including getting rid of Craig’s beloved chair, is the exact opposite of how Emma would operate. It’s a plot we’ve seen before, but the lead characters remain endearing.
Emma’s biggest issues aren’t the ones with her dog, her ex, her daughter, or her career, but are found in her desperation that all those around her feel the same way about each of those topics as she does. Emma thinks her alcoholic husband deserves a one-millionth chance, regardless of the fact that Stan and Maggie believe it’s a disaster waiting to happen. Emma can’t understand why one of her employees, who has been with Emma’s successful furniture company for over a decade, would want to leave, despite acknowledging that the company has drastically changed over the years. This montage of Emma’s flaws doesn’t make her a likable character, but the film’s putting the loss of her beloved pet in the opening moments becomes crucial in connecting with her despite her lack of awareness of those around her. Because we’ve seen how Emma was with Tanner, we know that same grace exists within her.
The biggest hurdle in Emma’s relationship with others is her inability to let them mourn in their own ways, both with Stan and the loss of his longtime partner, Craig, and with Maggie’s mourning the metaphorical loss of her father due to his addiction. In one viscerally uncomfortable scene, Emma gifts Stan a photo of him and Craig on the beach, a gesture that seems correct to Emma but is completely inappropriate given Stan’s style of moving on, which includes getting rid of most signs of Craig’s existence, save for the memories he has in his heart. This photograph, coupled with the accompanying gift card, is a one-two punch for Stan that he swallows for as long as he can until he can no longer hold onto his disappointment in Emma’s tone-deaf nature. Maggie, on the other hand, tells her mother early on in the story that she doesn’t need her father’s apologies, and that she is traumatized by his behavior in her childhood, which included moments like his picking her up from elementary school while intoxicated. This doesn’t mesh with Emma, who is so desperate to fill the space Tanner left by copying and pasting her ex-husband in that spot. It’s an incredibly human thing to do, and yet, we see this trainwreck happening in slow motion as Emma falls into old habits once more.
A Cast of Comedy Actors Prove Their Dramatic Acting Abilities
Despite its largely dramatic undertones, audiences will recognize a large portion of the cast of All That We Love from the comedy world. Lead Margaret Cho broke into the entertainment scene as a stand-up comedian, and has mostly appeared in comedies and her own stand-up specials; Jesse Tyler Ferguson is best known for his role as Mitchell in Modern Family; Atsuko Okatsuka, who plays Emma’s ex-sister-in-law, is a hilarious stand-up comedian; Missi Pyle, who appears as Emma’s co-worker, has been in iconic comedies like Galaxy Quest. Yet, despite their backgrounds, each of these seasoned comedic actors more than demonstrates their dramatic chops.
Cho is, first and foremost, the character we are most focused on, and it’s incredible to see her take on such a different role. While her character of Emma is often frustratingly predictable in her actions, Cho’s performance keeps us engaged in each predictable move she makes. Even with the familiar script, we are hooked on Cho’s Emma from the opening scene of the film, and her captivating take on the character is what makes us stick along throughout the entirety of the journey.
Ferguson is fantastic as Stan, a role that could’ve easily been played as one-note, as the character’s methods of grieving involve repeated attempts to reinvent himself. It would be easy for an actor to take Stan’s actions, like posing with a new motorcycle for dating app photos to becoming part of a “throuple” and make them cliché, but Ferguson’s choices as Stan have an undercurrent of searching for himself that humbles these situations and makes them clear indications of his attempts at finding an identity outside of his late husband. It is a subdued performance in all the right ways.
In big-screen storytelling, directors often attempt to generate tumultuous emotions through larger-than-life spectacles, but Tan’s direction is delicately intimate in a way that doesn’t need to force emotions out of its audience. It’s the closeups on microwaving leftovers, the light shining in on Tanner’s empty bed, and the sound of dog food being poured into an empty tin bowl that set the scene more than any expositional dialogue could.
No, the plotlines are nothing new: most viewers will either have lost a beloved pet, gone through a divorce, or grieved a loved one or spouse, and therefore, the film might play best with those who have recently experienced one of these losses. More than that, the script is predictable from scene to scene, which might frustrate those who wish Emma’s character hadn’t been so calculable. However, the way these stories are captured evokes an important underlying message. Through his filmmaking choices, Tan proves the point that we are fascinating creatures even when the hardships we are going through have been tackled by so many before us. In the end, All That We Love is a film about permission: permission to grieve in our own way, to allow others to do the same, and to know that we are still worthy of acceptance, even in our less-than-perfect moments.
All That We Love had its World Premiere at the 2024 Tribeca Film Festival.