5 Thoughts Everyone Has While Trying To Pick Out A Wine

For some reason, drinking wine has become complicated. It should be easy, but the idea that you have to sniff and swirl your glass and pretend you know about random European regions and grape varietals when you drink it really takes a lot of fun out of having a freaking drink. That’s why there are so many thoughts everyone has when picking out a wine.

Here’s the thing about wine: it’s supposed to be sophisticated. Because so much goes into making it and there are so many different kinds and it seems so complicated, drinking wine can be easily turned into a “hobby.” The complexity is sort of a way to mask the fact that you’re drinking.

The best thing about wine is that it’s a socially acceptable beverage to drink in almost all settings at most times of day.  If you came home from work every night and mixed yourself two martinis or pounded a Budweiser while you cooked dinner, people might be a little worried about you. But like I said, wine is sophisticated. It’s not booze. It’s a chardonnay. And if you have a fancy glass, no one thinks twice.

But the wine you drink and the amount of care you put into choosing a bottle says something about you, which is why it can be so overwhelming to pick one at the store or in a restaurant. These are the thoughts that run through everyone’s mind in this stress-inducing situation.

“The Wine Guy Is Definitely Watching Me”

Walking into a wine store is a lot like walking into an expensive boutique when you just want to check out the sale rack. Popping in to get that bottle of $9.99 Syrah you drink a few times a week can turn into a game of charades in a wine store you don’t really know as you pretend you’re really shopping. But the wine guy knows you aren’t going drop $40 on a Barolo. Don’t be ashamed.

“Will My Roommates Judge Me If I Buy Boxed Wine?”

Boxes of wine get a lot of hate in the wine drinking world, but if you’re on a budget, sometimes you have to do the math. There’s value to be had in a box of wine (and you can find semi-classy ones, too). But walking into the house with a box of wine is certainly something every wine drinker has to think carefully about.

“How Do I Stay Classy Without Spending $20?”

Nothing is more socially awkward than bringing a bottle of wine to a party, especially since trying to find the right mix of affordable and socially acceptable is not an easy task.

“I Don’t Care Where The Wine Is From”

Wine menus are the worst. Pretending you care about the pretentious details of the wine, what the server suggests will “pair well” with your entree choice, and especially the exact, tiny, unpronounceable wine region is a talent.

“How Many Bottles Can I Carry Home Without Collapsing?”

Stocking up is always a good idea, but sometimes it’s hard to figure out how many bottles you can fit in one bag and actually carry all the way home or out to your car without collapsing under the weight of cabernet.

Picking out a wine doesn’t always have to be so stressful — just drink up.

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